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Sunday, December 13, 2020

Book Review Becoming

       Book Review
Becoming

                 

                     "One of the lessons that I grew up with was to always stay true to yourself and never let what somebody else says distract you from your goals."


  ‘Michelle Obama’s memoir,Becoming’ celebrates the diversity of thought. She invites the readers into her world to have an up-close look at her life. The book takes the readers seamlessly through three distinct phases of her life. It includes her incredible journey from humble beginnings in the less glamorous South Side of Chicago to the grandeur of the White House and her life as America’s first African-American First Lady. Michelle Obama, the first lady of the United States of America, has emerged as one of the most compelling women of our era. She became an advocate for women's rights in the U.S. and around the world.The memoir recounts deep reflection and mesmerizing storytelling of her early life, education, relationships, her time in the White House, and her impactful public health campaign. Her journey continues as she is on her way to the next phase of her life. She has not become what she aspires to be; she is still becoming.

     The book begins with her reminiscences regarding her childhood days.The first phase is termed as Becoming Me in her memoir. Recounting her childhood events of innocence and exasperation, she narrated that during the era of 1960s, the South Side of Chicago experienced severe political instability and bloodshed where she grew up.  Her small family learned to cope with adversities and lived with simplicity. They resided in Parkway Gardens; it was an affordable housing project to help out the post–World War II housing shortage for black working-class families. After few years, the housing project was abandoned so they began to live in the neighborhood of their old friends, Robbie and Terry. When Michelle turned four, she developed an interest in learning music. Craig was already taking music lessons from Robbie. Learning music with Robbie was an exciting experience for Michelle; it aroused her passion to study music in depth. She believed that playing music gave her an enchanting feeling and helped her find deep relaxation.The same year Robbie organised a thrilling live performance on Michigan Avenue in Chicago. A long drive to the place was enjoyable and fascinating for the whole family as Michelle recalled her fond memories. Recollecting the time when reached downtown for the piano recital, she was perplexed and anxious as she had to perform among a big audience. Wearing a beautiful dress with leather shoes and her hair in ponytails, she looked pretty and elegant. Regaining her nerves, she concentrated on the piano keys. The young Michelle enthralled the music lovers out there.The year 1969 reflects her childhood memories at Bryn Mawr Elementary School, where she began her kindergarten studies. Remembering her spelling activities, Michelle spelled out all the colours well except for the colour white that she found a bit difficult to pronounce. Being a sensitive she felt embarrassed about her inability to speak the word correctly in front of her classmates. Therefore, she practiced spelling several times while lying in her bed at night. The next morning she articulated the word with perfection. Mrs. Burroughs was overwhelmed by the confidence and devotion the little black girl showed while taking her lessons.

   This part elucidates the family values and the quality time the family spends together. As Michelle recalled that her parents used to discuss different issues with their children. When she reached her teenage, her parents conferred on more serious issues about life choices, relationships, social and political issues. Michelle grew more mature and sensible as she reached the age of adolescence. The year 1981 depicted the fond memories of Michelle with her father driving across the flat highways towards Princeton University. She had to attend a special three-week summer orientation program at the university. Her engaging life at Princeton campus continued. In the early 1980s, Michelle availed the hostel accommodation. She concentrated more on her studies, aiming to improve her knowledge and skills. To manage university expenditures, Michelle never expected her parents to help her, instead she found a work-study job at TWC, Czerny Brasuell. The job helped her to meet the financial expenses. At the same time, she decided to acquire a unique profession in the future. Therefore, she opted to study law from Harvard Law School. After graduating from law school, Michelle joined a law firm called Sidley & Austin. It is at the office of Sidley & Austin, she happened to meet her future husband, Barack Obama.

 "Choose people who lift you up." said Michelle Obama

  The second part of the book, Becoming Us deals with Michelle and Barak Obama’s friendship that bolstered closeness and intimacy between them. She introduced Barack Obama to her family. Barack was pleased to meet her family and had a little chat with Michelle’s father. To Michelle’s father, Barack was a practical-minded, sensible, and mature man.The same year, 1989, at Christmas time, Barack Obama took Michelle to Hawaii to meet his family. She felt comfortable with them and was impressed by their modest family background.

She writes about Obama, 

“What truly made me fall in love with Barack Obama was his character. You hear me? It was his character. It was his decency, his honesty, his compassion and conviction."                          

"Barack intrigued me. He was not like anyone I’d dated before, mainly because he seemed so secure. He was openly affectionate. He told me I was beautiful. He made me feel good. To me, he was sort of like a unicorn—unusual to the point of seeming almost unreal. He never talked about material things, like buying a house or a car or even new shoes. His money went largely toward books, which to him were like sacred objects, providing ballast for his mind.”

  We came to know about a great tragedy that occurred in Michelle’s family. Her father’s health deteriorated. The pain in his feet worsened and was admitted to a hospital in Chicago. Michelle remembered the most nerve-wracking moments for the whole family. Her dear father was sinking away. She helplessly watched him in severe pain. Alas! Tears rolled down her cheeks, he kissed her hand, and thus he breathes his last.

                     "Marriage is a choice you make every day. You don’t do it because it’s easy. You do it because you believe in it. You believe in the other person." — Michelle Obama

The next year, October 1992, the marriage ceremony of Barack Obama and Michelle took place at Trinity United Church of Christ on the South Side of Chicago. The wedding was attended by their relatives, family friends, and colleagues. Michelle explained the challenges she faced during her married life. She resumed her services at the city hall as an assistant commissioner. Her responsibility was to get connected with the city’s departments, including health and human services. Meanwhile, Barack Obama began a part-time teaching job at the University of Chicago.

 Beside pursing their careers,the couple decided to go for a family way. It was in the year 1998, the 4th of July, Michelle gave birth to a beautiful baby girl named Malia. Michelle experienced memorable moments of motherhood in raising her daughter, Malia. In the year, June 10, 2001, Michelle was blessed with the second daughter named Natasha. Michelle continued to enjoy motherhood activities and responsibilities and cherished the time spend with her toddlers.

As she said,When I get up and work out, I'm working out just as much for my girls as I am for me, because I want them to see a mother who loves them dearly, who invests in them, but who also invests in herself. It's just as much about letting them know as young women that it is okay to put yourself a little higher on your priority list.”

  At another moment she said, 

“That's what marriage is about. Not the big, splashy stuff. It's just the little day-to-day sharing and routines and rituals that we still have." — Michelle Obama

This section also relates to Michelle’s experience of successfully managing election campaigns held in February 2008 at Iowa, Wisconsin, and Texas. On 4th November 2008, Barack Obama and Michelle cast the vote at Beulah Shoesmith Elementary School in Chicago. The election day seemed too long and nerve-racking for them. They desperately watched the election results as though the initial results were relatively confusing. It was around 10 pm the media announced the victory of Barack Hussein Obama. He was officially declared as the forty-fourth president of the United States. The victory was celebrated by more than 200,000 people who excitedly waited at the park to meet their victorious leader.

Expressing his deepest love for Michelle, Barack Obama said,

"We’ve been married now twenty years, and like every marriage you have your ups and you have your downs, but if you work through the tough times, the respect and love that you feel deepens." — Barack Obama

This section also relates to Michelle’s experience of successfully managing election campaigns held in February 2008 at Iowa, Wisconsin, and Texas. During campaign in 2014 at Topeka High School commencement speech, she said,

"Every day, you have the power to choose our better history — by opening your hearts and minds, by speaking up for what you know is right."  

On 4th November 2008, Barack Obama and Michelle cast the vote at Beulah Shoesmith Elementary School in Chicago. The election day seemed too long and nerve-racking for them. They desperately watched the election results as though the initial results were relatively confusing. It was around 10 pm the media announced the victory of Barack Hussein Obama. He was officially declared as the forty-fourth president of the United States. The victory was celebrated by more than 200,000 people who excitedly waited at the park to meet their victorious leader.

The last part of the book, Becoming More describes her experience at the white House, her political activities and community development works. Michelle was overwhelmed to play her part as the First Lady at the White House. Life at the White House was surprisingly different from the lifestyle they lived in Chicago. It was an exalted experience for the president and the First Lady to get a protocol at the White House. In her memoir, she explained the pros and cons of VIP treatment and how it hampered her private life. She aimed to live a normal and regular life like others such as, enjoying Thanksgiving holiday, family dinners and attending social events and recreational activities. She strongly opposed the publication of the photos of her family on social media since it disturbed her privacy. 

Some memorable foreign tours Michelle remembered that highly fascinated her. The first international trip was made to meet the Queen of England. Michelle was overwhelmed to meet the Queen and felt glorified for the privilege provided to them at Buckingham Palace. She also remembered her visit with Nelson Mandela Foundation headquarters in Johannesburg. It was a brief yet, memorable meeting. During the presidential phases of their life, Barack faced various challenging tasks .Michelle supported the Barack administration in meeting their tasks. The priority was to capture Osama bin Laden and to end up the economic crisis in the country. Speaking at G 20 Summit, she said, 

“Whether you come from a council estate or a country estate, your success will be determined by your own confidence and fortitude." 

She launched a health care awareness campaign for the parents and helped the schools to access healthy and high-quality food for children. Looking back to her fond memories in the year 2011, she remembered her passionate vision of empowering young girls. She initiated a mentoring program at the White House. Her speech during her visit to Africa in 2013 highlights her idea of girl’s empowerment . 

"When girls are educated, their countries become stronger and more prosperous." 

Another major political event was the reelection of Barack Obama. He was elected to a second presidential term on November 6th, 2012. The second term was more challenging and, he vowed to take necessary steps to stop violence and protect US citizens. Obama and Michelle initiated an educational campaign worldwide, known as Let Girls Learn. The campaign aimed at providing greater access to education to young girls and enabled them to choose a better career. Speaking at the Summit of the Mandela Washington Fellowship for Young African Leaders 2014, she said, 

"No country can ever truly flourish if it stifles the potential of its women and deprives itself of the contributions of half its citizens."

During his last tenure in the year 2015, Barack Obama showed a strong commitment to people. By the year 2016, Barack Obama and Michelle moved to their new house in Washington since Sasha had to complete her high school. While Malia was in her way to finish her graduation. Michelle beheld that they were the forty-fourth First Family who enjoyed blissful moments and had a splendid time at the White House. Her speech at Democratic National Convention 2012 depicts her love for her family. 

"My most important title is "mom-in-chief". My daughters are still the heart of my heart and the centre of my world."

At a Democratic National Convention in 2016, she said,"With every word we utter, with every action we take, we know our kids are watching us. We as parents, are their most important role models."

With tears, they left the White House but continued to serve the nation with devotion and fervor. They launched Let’s Move! Active Schools program to improve the health of school-going kids. Furthermore, various foundations and campaigns established by them are still providing social and educational support to underprivileged girls across the world.

During her final speech as a first lady, 

You cannot take your freedoms for granted. Just like generations who have come before you, you have to do your part to preserve and protect those freedoms... you need to be preparing yourself to add your voice to our national conversation."

 Becoming inspires the readers as they found it  a warm, intimate coming-of-age story of a strong-minded girl who grew up to become one of the most powerful and influential black women in the country. It is filled with determination, love of family and many subtle and not-so-subtle lessons about being female, black, and black and female in America. She talks openly about things that many people are uncomfortable discussing. The book shows her concerns as worries that derive from the universal anxieties of marriage and motherhood. Still, Becoming is satisfying for the quiet moments in which Mrs. Obama, the woman who supported a black man named Barack all the way to the presidency, gets to let down her hair and breathe as Michelle LaVaughn Robinson, girl of the South Side. Thus, Michelle Obama gives us endearing, insightful, honest memories that taught us how to attain the journey to success. This book was eye-opening and inspiring, giving us a glimpse into how much effort it takes to lead a glorious successful life.

An extract from her book, 'Becoming' says,

“Your story is what you have, what you will always have. It is something to own.”  

 .

Friday, August 16, 2019

18 Minutes: Book Review


 

 

 18 Minutes: Find Your Focus, Master Distraction, and Get the Right Things Done

 

Book Review

One way to keep the momentum going is to have constantly greater goals.
– Michael Korda

As I began reading the book18 Minutes’,  I pondered over my life; where did those years go?  Instead of focusing on my strengths and devoting time to the responsibilities that really mattered, I struggled with physical, mental, or emotional strain. The book, “18 Minutes: Find Your Focus, Master Distraction, and Get the Right Things Done” written by Peter Bregman helped readers to find solution to their struggle and frustration. Peter Bregman has worked with CEOs and senior leaders for over 30 years to develop their leadership skills and personal growth and collaborative team work to bring organizational change.

18 Minutes is an essential guide, providing comprehensive approach to how to manage a day, a moment and a year. Its goal is to teach us how to keep focus on to achieve meaningful work. If we look back and analyze our whole day, week or year, we simply say, Time Flies So Fast! How we can slow it down.

I quote the inspiring words of the author,
“Time is the only element in the world that is irretrievable when it’s lost. Lose money and you can make more. Lose a friend and you can patch up the relationship. Lose a job and you can find another. But lose time and it’s gone forever.”

The author’ words, “Somehow I was missing that feeling of I’m doing the right things with the right people in the right way to make the most of who I am     stirred me to think since we are highly obsessed with achieving success, we hardly reflect upon satisfying our inner joy and happiness. We are engaged with personal obligations and probably spend less quality time with family and friends.
 
How can we work less and survive? Stepping away from your work might just be the key to increasing your productivity.”  the author expresses.

Stepping away from work can boost our mood, reduce anxiety and spark productivity. Some suggested tips in the chapter are to get involved in multiple identities, enjoy dinner with family or play tennis with a friend are meaningful activities that helps to make a modest life style. Bregman evaluates how he’s spending his time as according to him, “Most important, be consistent—doing the something repeatedly over time solidifies your identity”.

The book 18 Minutes is divided into four parts. 

Part 1: Pause   helps us to focus on the right things, follow a daily plan and avoid inevitable distractions that cause hindrance in achieving our goals. Reading part one was stimulating for me. I learned how to enjoy life and happiness and unlock my hidden potentials. The chapter focuses on building momentum and consistency of adopting positive habits that helps to accomplish goals. Peter Bregman in his book suggested two ways to pull back momentum. If we start to lose its force, gently begin to change direction. Slow Down and Start Over. 

 Part 1 discusses how to control emotional response “If you take a breath and delay your action, you give the prefrontal cortex time to control the emotional response. A brief pause will help you to deviate from impulsive behavior to rational. 

Here I would like to quote the case study given in the chapter.

When Luigi yelled at me in the hall, I took a deep breath and gave my prefrontal cortex a little time to win. I knew there was a misunderstanding and I also knew my relationship with Luigi was important. So instead of yelling back, I walked over to him. It only took a few seconds. But that gave us both enough time to become reasonable.
Similarly, I learned another tactic of settling down any important matter. Take a pause and ask yourself a single question: What is the outcome I want? Instead of reacting to any event taken place in the past, react to the future outcome. If your aim is “An improved relationship,” don’t yell back. Respond to the person in a normal voice; ask some questions which diminish his anger. This is the reaction that will help to boost up better relationship. Positive attitude will help to embrace weakness, focus on strengths and follow your passion and succeed. 
 

Part 2: What Is This Year About?  states how to organize and prioritize things in our life.
I quote author’s words, “We’ll look at the four elements—your strengths, weaknesses, differences, and passions—that form the foundation of your success and happiness.”
 
I learned the significance of staying flexible while planning. Opportunity, persistence and luck helps you to move towards the right direction. After analyzing the plan for the day, we need to carry over for tomorrow’s plan. We should prioritize our tasks for the next day.  What’s no longer important need to be scratched out.

We model ourselves and our businesses after other people or businesses! The book highlights the fact that we need to develop self- analysis, analyze our thoughts and behavior. As author says, “If you look like other people, and if your business looks like other businesses, then all you’ve done is increase your pool of competition.  Self- Reflection and personal development help us to stay focused on our priorities.

Peter Bregman says, “One way to recover your passion is to pursue your desire. As you choose your focus for the year, pay less attention to “shoulds” and more attention to “wants.” Explicating this strategy, he said we need to reschedule our tasks by developing our passion to accomplish it. We need to ask ourselves  the following questions, “What about our daily work, does our daily life matter to us  Why are we doing it?

Three essential conditions should be followed:
·        You want to achieve it.
·        You believe you can achieve it.
·        You enjoy trying to achieve it.

I quote the inspiring words of the author,
“This is why you’d better enjoy trying to achieve your goals. Because you’ll never spend ten thousand hours doing anything you don’t enjoy. And if you don’t enjoy the trying part, you’ll never do it long enough to reach your goal.”

 To home in on your passion, think about what you love doing—what’s important enough to you that you’re willing to persist over the year, even when it feels like you’re not succeeding.” writes the author.

At the end of part 2, the author emphasizes that demotivated people can be encouraged to pursue their goals if the goal is challenging and they are provided with the opportunity to achieve. The fear of failing may detain us from moving forward, however, if we comprehend the meaning of failure in our life, we will have great opportunities of success. 

I personally feel failure is a process of learning. As I ponder over my success in life, I know it has not occurred over night.  My efforts were recognized and valued in different challenging environment, hence my learning boost up.

“If you believe your talent grows with persistence and effort, then you seek failure as an opportunity to improve. People with a growth mind-set feel smart when they’re learning, not when they’re flawless.” 

“Failure is inevitable, useful, and educational. Just don’t give up—stay focused over the year—and it will pay off.”


Part 3: What Is This Day About, emphasizes how we focus into an 18-minute daily plan, make sure that the right things get done at the right moment. We need to prioritize and focus on five big things for the year ahead. Consequently, we need to create a to-do list for this purpose. The chapter begins with motivating words that really touched my heart, “If you pay attention to what’s happening now, the future will take care of itself. Don’t regret the past; don’t worry about the future; just be here now and all that.”

The author elucidates the idea by giving the example of driving a car. Distracted driving causes violent collusion. When you are driving, you never pay attention to where you are; you always pay attention to what is happening on the road ahead. As author says, “Plan your day ahead so you can fly through it, successfully maneuvering and moving towards your intended destination.” We should know where to focus and what to ignore .So the author suggests creating another list of unimportant things that can be ignored. 

As Bregman says, “To get the right things done, choosing what to ignore is as important as choosing where to focus.” The author further suggests three-day rule. This rule ensures that no task stays on your list for more than three days.
Part 3 ends with   thought-provoking words, 

“Spend a few minutes at the end of each day thinking about what you learned and with whom you should connect. These minutes are the key to making tomorrow even better than today.”

The last part 4: What Is This Moment About?  elucidates how to master distraction, you will learn how to get motivated and how to follow through even when it’s tempting to give up. How to protect yourself and your time by creating the right kind of boundaries. This section is divided into three subsections: Mastering Your Initiative, Mastering Your Boundaries, and Mastering Yourself.

The chapter emphasizes to   Create an environment that naturally compels you to do the things you want to do.” We need to focus on real problems and opportunities. “What’s important is that your moment of choice is when you are in the right state of mind—when you need the least willpower—to make the best decision.”

Part 4 provide guidelines to help you stay on track.


  •  Resist the temptation to say yes too often
  • When you say no, mean it, and you won’t needlessly lose your time
  • A few moments of transition time can help make your next task shorter, faster and more productive for you and others
  • When you take vacation—or any other time you want to be undisturbed—schedule a specific time to take care of the things that would otherwise creep into each and every available moment
  • Distraction, used intentionally, can be an asset
  • Don’t try to get it right in one big step. Just get it going.  Smaller steps give you the opportunity to succeed more often
  • Stay alert and adapt to changing situations

Finally, I learned to embrace change in life. Change is inevitable. Change is constant. We must analyze ‘self’, the self- knowledge help us to maximize our efforts for change. Change in our approach leads to for personal growth and success.

As I quote author’s words, “Welcome to life. The conditions are constantly shifting—almost as fast and frequently as the weather—and if you keep doing the same things in the rain that you did when it was nice and sunny, you’ll crash. You need to change your approach.”
   
As we master ourself with flexibility, we should stay on track and continue to move forward.
    
 I would end by quoting the words of Simone de Beauvoir,
“One's life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others, by means of love, friendship, indignation and compass.