My Blanket is So Lit

 

My Blanket is So Lit

It all started when I found myself trapped in the elevator after leaving my workplace. This experience left me utterly terrified of lifts. I began to tremble and decided to take the stairs to reach my office on the 4th floor. As I  climbed up, I got shaky, my heart started racing, and my legs felt weakened with each step. This became a daily struggle for me, making it feel like an uphill challenge to achieve my stair-climbing goals. Every day, I find myself wishing for something miraculous to occur, like a change in the office layout, the option to work remotely, or a vacation that seems completely out of reach. Once again feeling disheartened, I tried to concentrate on the task before me. While I was frustrated with the looming challenges of the English language in front of me, I was jolted back to reality by loud cheers coming from my workplace. I caught phrases like “Slay” and “Gas,” which seem to be popular among Gen Z and Alpha kids when they communicate. I assumed these terms might have a trendy context since the literal meaning of the first is rather harsh, and the second can be seen as inappropriate for a confined office setting.

Eventually, I heard HR and the team lead announcing one week of winter break. Putting aside all my “salty” feelings, including panic attacks and elevator phobia, I joined in the celebration. Amidst my deep thinking, a colleague asked me if I had any plans for the holidays. I replied immediately that I would just snuggle in my warm, cozy blanket and dream away, without a care in the world. After hearing this, most of my colleagues seemed to be in awe of my idea. I heard them say, “This is so lit. No cap.” Without waiting to decipher what it meant, I packed up and left.

 At home, I gazed at my blanket with great love. I had been so busy working what seemed like 25 hours a day that I had forgotten how much my old, faithful blanket meant to me. On the nights when I was exhausted after work, it was my blanket that gave me peace and comfort. The 5 hours of sleep that I managed to get every night were because of the calm and soothing effect that my blanket had on me. My blanket is my shining star, it’s an unsung hero! It deserves recognition. I hold my blanket in the highest regard. That night, while I was wondering how to get the world to appreciate the little things in life, my blanket helped me get a nice, relaxed, and peaceful slumber.

 “Snuggling under a blanket is the coziest joy."

 I woke up feeling cheerful and refreshed, as happy as a lark. “ No work today! No Gen Alpha words to worry about!” I screamed at the top of my voice. I went back to bed and snuggled in my warm, fuzzy blanket. I began to plan my day with my blanket. What a great idea to start the day with breakfast in bed, sipping hot tea in the comfort of my blanket. It was a cold, chilly December morning after all! Later, I brought chips, cookies, dry fruit, and other munching stuff. You name it, I had it! All this while I was cuddling inside my blanket and reading a book. It was pure bliss!

I felt like getting some beauty sleep when the writer inside me awakened. I opened my laptop and started writing an appreciation note for my blanket, which was as pretty as a picture, helping me achieve my dream of a restful, tranquil holiday. Ultimately, I will be able to share with the world that blankets deserve recognition for their invaluable contributions to humanity.

 Well! My one week of winter break is almost over! I will share with you the formula that I adopted to keep me happy. First and foremost, never wake up when someone is forcing you to. Be determined and go back to sleep.  It’s your life, your rules, and your sleep. On the other hand, if there is an emergency, please do wake up. Next is to appreciate the little things in life that bring you happiness.

 

In my case, it is my irresistibly soft, sweet-smelling, plush blanket that feels as smooth as satin, gliding over my skin. As I will be undergoing a hectic work week ahead with just 5 hours of sleep, all I can think of is to remember my mini-vacation from the world, nestled in softness, with perfect coziness and tender connection.

 I hope you all have developed an emotional attachment to your blanket and felt that swaddling in a cozy blanket brings a moment of perfect peace and ecstasy! 

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Raise your voice, Spread Awareness, And Drive change! To Create a Sustainable Future for Women

 

Raise your voice, Spread Awareness, And Drive change! To Create a Sustainable Future for Women

“The change I want to see is a start-up environment where everyone, regardless of gender and background, feels welcome and safe; where sexual harassment or discrimination will not impede great talent from producing great impact.” - Christine Tsai

Any form of undesirable verbal, non-verbal, or physical conduct of a sexual nature to hurt a female or violate the dignity of a woman is defined as sexual harassment. High harassment cases have been reported worldwide. According to recent statistics by World Population Review, about 35% of women have experienced different forms of sexual harassment such as physical sexual harassment, verbal sexual harassment, and visual sexual harassment. Some countries have high rates of rape.  A local human rights organization Ain-o-Salish Kendra (ASK) in Bangladesh has speculated that during the year 2021- 2023, 11,682 rape incidents are testified including gang-rapes. In India, the number of rape cases has reached 22,172. While in Pakistan, sexual violence against women including rape and sexual harassment has highly increased. The issue of sexual violence has become a significant issue that needs a concrete solution.

 Global Gender Gap Index, 2024 has issued a recent report highlighting that Pakistan is ranked 145th out of 146 countries which shows the severity of rape issues in various cities. Lahore and Faisalabad have the greatest incidence of violence against women in the year 2023. The highest number of rape cases happened in Faisalabad was 6,624, followed by 728 rape incidents in Lahore. Consequently, the life and dignity of women are not safe as rape cases take place after every 45 minutes.

 It is still challenging to curb this rising menace as women around the world are continuously suffering from sexual assault. For instance, the ruthless rape and murder of a trainee doctor in a government hospital in Kolkata has led to an outpouring of rage and anger in the masses against the persisting sexual abuse and atrocities against females. NGO’s and human rights organizations continue to hold demonstrations, asserting government to seize culprits and the court should give extreme punishment. Moreover, they want the Act should be strictly promulgated to ensure the safety of healthcare practitioners and workers.

 Despite that United Nations (U.N.) Millennium Goals have urged all global countries to take initiatives to promote gender equality and women's empowerment, yet two-thirds of the developing world has still not achieved women's equality. Women are constantly facing gender inequality and harassment issues in public places, workplaces, and educational institutes. Condemning the physical abuse towards womenfolk, women organizations across the globe have raised their voices. They believe that severe sexualized violence has reached epidemic proportions. Whether it is rape incidents occurring in a government hospital in Kolkata, India or abduction and rape cases of many teenage girls happening in place of work or educational institutes in Pakistan, molestation, gang rape, and other forms of offensive sexual advances have considerably risen globally.

 Living in a typically male-oriented society in Pakistan, ruthless men consider a woman a symbol of property that can be touched and misused as they like or harass women to fulfill their sexual needs. The offensive behaviors also include intimidation through looks, undesirable gestures, or using discriminatory comments to develop fear and insecurity in young girls.

Causes of Rape

To know the real causes of the prevalence of rape crime, people should look at the issue from various perspectives. Each rapist has a different behavior and circumstances to commit the crime. For instance, anger rape takes place when a rapist uses brutality to express anger. Their rage behavior hurt the victim.  Power rape refers to an attacker’s offensive behavior who has no intention to harm the victim. Instead, he wants to own a girl sexually. Therefore, he uses force to sexually assault the girl. Another behavior is sadistic rape. The offender uses both sexuality and aggression to abuse a woman. The rapist gets satisfaction from abusing, and humiliating the girl.

Sexual harassment cases such as increasing rape cases in the workplace are terrifying for women. It is normally observed that professional office girls working in different sectors wear fashionable outfits, such as wearing short revealing dresses and properly fitted garments that objectify women's bodies. These glamorous clothes attract men and stimulate them to exhibit aggressive behaviors such as unwelcome sexual advances done through force, threat, or pressure.

 Gender roles and values are learned at an early age at home, school, and through social environment. Young boys aged 5 to 9 years observe adults' appearances, activities, and behaviors. The harsh behavior of fathers tarnishes their personality and self-esteem. Resultantly, they develop negative traits, gender rigidity, and aggressive behaviors. College students from broken families such as parents living with marital conflicts, divorced or estranged from each other adopt negative stereotypical gender roles. As children internalize the negative behaviors, their personality gets influenced by the atrocious environment they are brought up. Consequently, it leads to adverse effects of stereotyping on their physical and intellectual competence.

The other common reasons observed for a high rate of rate crime are environmental factors such as toxic friendships, unsafe neighborhoods involved with antisocial behavior, and violent acts. Moreover, association with social groups also tends to victimize young boys provoking them towards committing physical abuse with women. Social media sites cause internet-related sex crimes such as physical abuse cases.  A group of male gangsters visit internet sites, including social media where teenage girls openly post their personal information. It includes online profiles, posts, and comments on online sites. The offenders start their interactions with the targeted victims through chat. They do comments on the posts, like and share their posts, and also check friend contact lists. Once, rapists develop familiarity and understanding with the victimized girl, they trap her in meetings. They choose a vulnerable place and use force and violence to sexually assault them.

Sexual assault and related traumas happen due to prevailing social issues. Unemployed young individuals having no income opportunities and social benefits develop dysfunctional behavior including depression and mental disorders. Reducing earning power causes serious implications such as getting involved in antisocial activities including abducting and sexually abusing females.

 

 How to Prevent Sexual Assault in Society?

 

 Sexual violence including rape against women has extensively increased. The alarming rate of sexual abuse cases has triggered NGO’s and Women associations to speak up and address the issues on the social media platform. Women's rights organizations have created awareness among women, allowing them to know how to prevent themselves from physical abuse. The initial step is to report the rape case that happened in the workplace, educational institute, or public spaces.

Regarding the prevention of sexual abuse in the workplace and educational institutions in Pakistan, the HR department and higher authorities have taken necessary initiatives to educate and inform students and employees about harassment behavior.  Female students and staff are encouraged to report harassment cases to HR and the admin department.

To strongly combat the rape menace, harassment policies have been reviewed regularly by companies and educational institutions. The executives, managers, and employees are educated about the more subtle forms of sexual harassment through harassment training. The program reinforces the organization to adopt a positive approach and engage employees in nurturing a respectful culture in the workplace. The cordial environment allows staff members to understand workplace ethics.

Women's rights organizations have urged that young girls and especially boys in higher education institutes should be provided with comprehensive sex education. It includes keeping unnecessary physical contact and knowing about maintaining a safe and positive relationship. Teenage girls and boys should be motivated to discuss ethical issues such as sex culture. Engaging in positive and healthy communication about sexuality helps them know their individual identity and sexual interests.

More rigorous strategies have been implemented at workplaces, universities, and colleges and the management has ensured that such unethical behavior will not be tolerated. The culprits will face harsh punishment and heavy charges according to the Harassment Act promulgated by the government of Pakistan.   

 Humanitarian organizations such as the United Nations Office for the Coordination of Humanitarian Affairs (OCHA) have aligned worldwide organizational policies, and practices with United Nations approaches to prevent sexual exploitation against women. OCHA offices at headquarters, regional, and country levels have initiated country-wide advocacy, awareness programs, and other concrete measures to curb the rising sexual violence and discrimination against women.

 Core Humanitarian Standards (CHS)  in association with the UNO protection policy, Protection from Sexual Exploitation and Abuse (PSEA)   have taken strong initiatives to work together to build a safer aid system for the social well-being of women. The advocacy program includes encouraging community members to share their physical harassment experiences and challenges. The experts provide recommendations to prevent sexual abuse in the workplace. Countrywide campaigns also include organizing webinars, and conferences emphasizing the need to grow awareness in young people regarding sexual assault and adopt strict measures to reduce sexual abuse and harassment incidences.

On the global level, the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA) has developed a policy on the prevention of sexual harassment, abuse, and discrimination. The UNFPA Policy on harassment has established a network of workplace facilitators and partner organizations that address sexual exploitation and abuse across the international level. The advocacy program is currently running in 12 countries. The program expresses the principle of zero tolerance for various crimes, including sexual exploitation and abuse.

 

Another initiative is taken by WHO and UN Women with certification from 12 other UN and bilateral agencies. Working in collaboration they have established a strong framework known as RESPECT women. The aim is to prevent physical abuse and violence against women and promote the social and economic well-being of women. The framework supports women from all over the world, providing them with social empowerment and psychosocial support to help them lead a better quality of life.

To bring radical changes in society, the global states, women's organizations, and NGOs should collaborate and promulgate effective legislation, laws, and policies that impose harsh punishments for adultery and rape. The laws ensure the safety and protection of women against physical assault. Provide support to victimized women by making easy access to legal laws to seek justice.

As physical abuse and rape incidents have become a global issue, the government of Pakistan has taken serious measures to tackle the harassment and rape cases at educational institutions and workplaces. Initiatives have been taken to improve the existing rape laws.  The Women’s Protection Act was earlier reformed, the law reconsidered various factors causing rape and addressed a broader range of sexual offenses. More practical and resourceful legislation is required that prevents physical abuse and brings equitable adjustment of social and economic rights of women in the workplace and society.

Summing up

There is a dire need to develop awareness in young women and men regarding the causes that lead to physical harassment and rape.  Instead of living in silence and fear, women are required to speak up against the physical violence and harassment they face in the workplace, universities, and colleges. Let’s join hands and take action to eliminate physical harassment from workplaces, communities, and institutions.  A strong and resilient role of women's groups and organizations has emerged as a hope for women, encouraging them to raise their voices against social injustice. Moreover, their continuous efforts have urged the government to stop physical harassment in public places and organizations and ensure the safety, and well-being of women.

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The book review Hidden Half

 

 Book Review 

Hidden Half How the World Conceals its Secrets

 by Michael Blastland

"The Hidden Half: How the World Conceals its Secrets" by Michael Blastland explores the concept of hidden information and how it influences decision-making and understanding in various aspects of life.

 Here are ten lessons from the book:

1. The Illusion of Understanding: Blastland challenges the notion that we fully understand the world around us. He argues that much of what we think we know is based on incomplete or misleading information. 

2. Hidden Information: There is a vast amount of information that remains hidden or inaccessible to us. This hidden information can have significant implications for decision-making and outcomes.

3. Complexity and Uncertainty: The world is complex and uncertain, making it challenging to fully grasp the underlying mechanisms and dynamics at play in various phenomena.

4. Limits of Prediction: Predicting future events or outcomes is inherently difficult due to the complexity of the systems involved and the presence of hidden factors that influence outcomes.

5. Unintended Consequences: Our actions often have unintended consequences that we may not anticipate. The author  expounds how hidden information can lead to unforeseen outcomes and unintended consequences.

6. Probability and Risk: Understanding probability and risk is essential for making informed decisions. Blastland examines how hidden information can distort our perception of risk and lead to flawed decision-making. 

7. Biases and Heuristics: Human judgment is influenced by cognitive biases and heuristics that can lead to systematic errors. The book  discusses how hidden information can exacerbate these biases and distort decision-making.

8. Transparency and Accountability: Increased transparency and accountability can help uncover hidden information and mitigate its impact on decision-making and outcomes.

9. The Need for Humility: Readers learn the importance of humility in the face of uncertainty and hidden information. Lack of knowledge, wisdom and decision- making  affect our brain capacity. Our sensory language  and experience help us process information and recognize patterns that enhance our intellectual capacity, enabling us to  make inform decisions.

10. The Pursuit of Truth: Despite the challenges posed by hidden information, Blastland advocates for the pursuit of truth and knowledge. He encourages readers to remain curious, skeptical, and open-minded in their quest for understanding.

 Hence, valuable lessons from "The Hidden Half" emphasizes complexities of decision-making, the limitations of human understanding, and the importance of humility and skepticism in navigating a world filled with hidden information

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Book Review of Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul

 

Book Review: Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul

 By John Eldredge

"When a woman rises in glory, her energy is magnetic and her sense of possibility contagious." -Marianne Williamson

 Feminine soul empowers women to harness their wisdom, strength, and intuitive energies from their childhood to adulthood.  As women grow up, they nurture their feminism by developing idealized feminine attributes such as beauty, tenderness, love, softness, sensitivity, emotions, vulnerability, nurturing, and support for others.  Women form a deepening relationship with their dream world as it is observed that young girls imagine a joyful life with a sense of fulfillment and happiness. The dream reflects their inner desires and aspirations to live an accomplished life. Reclaiming the power of their senses, emotions, and feelings leads to spiritual awareness in women.  The energetic awareness helps women exhibit sobriety, firmness, and perseverance to face the ordeals of life. Being mentally strong helps them overcome the traumas in life.

  However, it is a harsh reality that even educated families hardly recognize the significance of feminism and women's aspirations. Their key preference is to follow their traditional family customs and trends. The girls brought up in a strict masculine-centric culture, lose their feminism, hopes, and dreams, and fail to embrace their higher self. Since families fail to understand their emotional state of mind, their attributes, and skills, these helpless girls are unable to live a vibrant life.

Amidst dejection, darkness, and hopelessness, some girls reclaim a path of transformation by tapping into their divine feminine energy. It helps them stand up for what they believe in, remain proud, and be unbothered by what others say or think about their behavior and life patterns. Consequently, they stay true to their self. Their mental strength positively impacts their life, allowing them to have awesome relationships, and live an enchanted, blissful, and contented life.

 God has set within us a powerful femininity that is powerful and tender. The paradigm of universal motherhood reflects strong feminine figures' receptivity, patience, and ability to listen and show love, care, and affection to others. Being optimistic, women develop a growth mindset that helps them inculcate good vibes and positivity in every aspect of life.

John Eldredge, an American author, counselor, teacher, and preacher at Ransomed Heart. He has gained a high reputation within the Christian community as a leading author. In his previous books including Wild at Heart, John addresses issues concerning men. Captivating marks a new phase in Eldredge's ministry, as the book is specifically written for women. The book reflects the divine feminine qualities of women as the novel promises to uncover the mystery of a woman’s soul. This book is co-written by Eldredge’s wife, Stasi, and it represents her first publication.

Reading this book will help you cultivate a courageous attentiveness to your inner self. The author provides valuable tools for restoring the link between feminine spirituality and social change.

As the author says, "You are powerful, beautiful, and strong. You are worthy to be loved. The essence of a woman is Beauty. She is meant to be the incarnation—our experience in human form—of a Captivating God."  (pg. 130).

Most women think they have to settle for a life of responsibility and fulfilling obligations. However, the book reclaims women's sacred feminine, attributes. The book explicates three essential aspects of a woman's life. First, she yearns to be loved and romanced, secondly, her fondness to experience adventures and thrilling things in life and lastly, unveils the hidden beauty, compassion, and contemplation that connects her with the divine feminine. Consequently, tapping into the divine grace of the feminine suggests women to define their emotions, re-feel and re-experience everything in the present moment   All women aspire to attain these life core values. If they deny experiencing them, it surely indicates a sterile, and barren life, a state of solitude and emptiness that prevents them from living a meaningful life. 

According to the author’s interpretation, women who are preoccupied with work or busy routines, have no time to rest, reflect, and rejuvenate. They begin to lose vibrancy and energy and experience a vacuum of isolation, and despondency in life. Women get extremely busy that they have no time to pray or to meditate about God's truth. Consequently, it makes them spiritually barren, lose hope in life, and leave them unprepared to encounter big challenges in their fast-paced world. So, how do they overcome their guilt and frustration and live a fulfilled life.?

The book comprehensively reflects on this empowering concept by letting women make a to-do list. "Do these ten things, and you will be a godly woman." Begin with enjoying and mingling with groups of people to share your feelings, emotions, blissful moments, grief, and woes. Search for activities that reconnect you with yourself.  The fundamental feminist attributes that most women fail to embrace are love, joy and creativity sensuality, physical pleasure, and self-care. Though it is their birthright to attain these divine feminine energies, being captivated by worldly possessions and busy life schedules won't allow them to invest their quality time and focus on the things that matter in life and make their life invigorated.

The bestseller, John and Stasi Eldredge shared their story and exhibited how to set your heart free and enjoy the life journey. Being mindful of the present, and leaving the past wounds, sorrows, and troubles. Just reflect and live your present moments with truth, openness, and faith. It rejuvenates your inner self and helps you gain absolute ecstasy.

The book explicits about embracing womanhood. Inculcating cardinal virtues such as kindness, simplicity, compliance, patience, and resilience indicates that the woman embraces the fullness of her life experiences. Some young girls experience extreme traumas in life, the wounds distort a woman's self-image and prevent her from articulating her true femininity. To gain mental ease, Eldredge urges women to recognize divinity and embark on a spiritual healing journey.  Spirituality encourages women to turn to Christianity and seek God's lasting love to heal their sufferings. The mystery of the feminine heart exhibits how God's love and truth help women remain resilient, and gain salvation. She chooses to live in the present moment and moves forward with fortitude and strength. Embrace the inherent power, freedom, and beauty that she possesses.

As a woman grows older, she gracefully nurtures her life by upholding modesty, and compassion. She continues to strive to awaken her powerful feminine heart, filled with God's unfailing love. Her soul becomes the embodiment of purity and summons every woman to believe in herself and know their captivating beauty, and powerful strength. In the end, the author emphasizes,

Let Captivating help you discover the woman you were meant to be! Your inner beauty, unwavering loyalty, integrity, compassion, and strength truly define your virtues of womanhood. How you influence the world and empower other women’s dreams and aspirations by exhibiting your wisdom and sharing your life’s intimate, transformative, and healing experiences. This is what actually a woman yearns for a high vision to gain power, strength, freedom, and beauty. Thus, it paves the way for a woman to live a vibrant and contented life and become truly captivating.

 

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       Book Review
Becoming

                 

                     "One of the lessons that I grew up with was to always stay true to yourself and never let what somebody else says distract you from your goals."

  ‘Michelle Obama’s memoir, ‘Becoming’ celebrates the diversity of thought. She invites the readers into her world to have an up-close look at her life. The book takes the readers seamlessly through three distinct phases of her life. It includes her incredible journey from humble beginnings in the less glamorous South Side of Chicago to the grandeur of the White House and her life as America’s first African-American First Lady. Michelle Obama, the first lady of the United States of America, has emerged as one of the most compelling women of our era. She became an advocate for women's rights in the U.S. and around the world.The memoir recounts deep reflection and mesmerizing storytelling of her early life, education, relationships, her time in the White House, and her impactful public health campaign. Her journey continues as she is on her way to the next phase of her life. She has not become what she aspires to be; she is still becoming.

     The book begins with her reminiscences regarding her childhood days.The first phase is termed as Becoming Me in her memoir. Recounting her childhood events of innocence and exasperation, she narrated that during the era of 1960s, the South Side of Chicago experienced severe political instability and bloodshed where she grew up.  Her small family learned to cope with adversities and lived with simplicity. They resided in Parkway Gardens; it was an affordable housing project to help out the post–World War II housing shortage for black working-class families. After few years, the housing project was abandoned so they began to live in the neighborhood of their old friends, Robbie and Terry. When Michelle turned four, she developed an interest in learning music. Craig was already taking music lessons from Robbie. Learning music with Robbie was an exciting experience for Michelle; it aroused her passion to study music in depth. She believed that playing music gave her an enchanting feeling and helped her find deep relaxation.The same year Robbie organised a thrilling live performance on Michigan Avenue in Chicago. A long drive to the place was enjoyable and fascinating for the whole family as Michelle recalled her fond memories. Recollecting the time when reached downtown for the piano recital, she was perplexed and anxious as she had to perform among a big audience. Wearing a beautiful dress with leather shoes and her hair in ponytails, she looked pretty and elegant. Regaining her nerves, she concentrated on the piano keys. The young Michelle enthralled the music lovers out there.The year 1969 reflects her childhood memories at Bryn Mawr Elementary School, where she began her kindergarten studies. Remembering her spelling activities, Michelle spelled out all the colours well except for the colour white that she found a bit difficult to pronounce. Being a sensitive she felt embarrassed about her inability to speak the word correctly in front of her classmates. Therefore, she practiced spelling several times while lying in her bed at night. The next morning she articulated the word with perfection. Mrs. Burroughs was overwhelmed by the confidence and devotion the little black girl showed while taking her lessons.

   This part elucidates the family values and the quality time the family spends together. As Michelle recalled that her parents used to discuss different issues with their children. When she reached her teenage, her parents conferred on more serious issues about life choices, relationships, social and political issues. Michelle grew more mature and sensible as she reached the age of adolescence. The year 1981 depicted the fond memories of Michelle with her father driving across the flat highways towards Princeton University. She had to attend a special three-week summer orientation program at the university. Her engaging life at Princeton campus continued. In the early 1980s, Michelle availed the hostel accommodation. She concentrated more on her studies, aiming to improve her knowledge and skills. To manage university expenditures, Michelle never expected her parents to help her, instead she found a work-study job at TWC, Czerny Brasuell. The job helped her to meet the financial expenses. At the same time, she decided to acquire a unique profession in the future. Therefore, she opted to study law from Harvard Law School. After graduating from law school, Michelle joined a law firm called Sidley & Austin. It is at the office of Sidley & Austin, she happened to meet her future husband, Barack Obama.

 "Choose people who lift you up." said Michelle Obama

  The second part of the book, Becoming Us deals with Michelle and Barak Obama’s friendship that bolstered closeness and intimacy between them. She introduced Barack Obama to her family. Barack was pleased to meet her family and had a little chat with Michelle’s father. To Michelle’s father, Barack was a practical-minded, sensible, and mature man.The same year, 1989, at Christmas time, Barack Obama took Michelle to Hawaii to meet his family. She felt comfortable with them and was impressed by their modest family background.

She writes about Obama, 

“What truly made me fall in love with Barack Obama was his character. You hear me? It was his character. It was his decency, his honesty, his compassion and conviction."                          

"Barack intrigued me. He was not like anyone I’d dated before, mainly because he seemed so secure. He was openly affectionate. He told me I was beautiful. He made me feel good. To me, he was sort of like a unicorn—unusual to the point of seeming almost unreal. He never talked about material things, like buying a house or a car or even new shoes. His money went largely toward books, which to him were like sacred objects, providing ballast for his mind.”

  We came to know about a great tragedy that occurred in Michelle’s family. Her father’s health deteriorated. The pain in his feet worsened and was admitted to a hospital in Chicago. Michelle remembered the most nerve-wracking moments for the whole family. Her dear father was sinking away. She helplessly watched him in severe pain. Alas! Tears rolled down her cheeks, he kissed her hand, and thus he breathes his last.

                     "Marriage is a choice you make every day. You don’t do it because it’s easy. You do it because you believe in it. You believe in the other person." — Michelle Obama

The next year, October 1992, the marriage ceremony of Barack Obama and Michelle took place at Trinity United Church of Christ on the South Side of Chicago. The wedding was attended by their relatives, family friends, and colleagues. Michelle explained the challenges she faced during her married life. She resumed her services at the city hall as an assistant commissioner. Her responsibility was to get connected with the city’s departments, including health and human services. Meanwhile, Barack Obama began a part-time teaching job at the University of Chicago.

 Beside pursing their careers,the couple decided to go for a family way. It was in the year 1998, the 4th of July, Michelle gave birth to a beautiful baby girl named Malia. Michelle experienced memorable moments of motherhood in raising her daughter, Malia. In the year, June 10, 2001, Michelle was blessed with the second daughter named Natasha. Michelle continued to enjoy motherhood activities and responsibilities and cherished the time spend with her toddlers.

As she said, “When I get up and work out, I'm working out just as much for my girls as I am for me, because I want them to see a mother who loves them dearly, who invests in them, but who also invests in herself. It's just as much about letting them know as young women that it is okay to put yourself a little higher on your priority list.”

  At another moment she said, 

“That's what marriage is about. Not the big, splashy stuff. It's just the little day-to-day sharing and routines and rituals that we still have." — Michelle Obama

This section also relates to Michelle’s experience of successfully managing election campaigns held in February 2008 at Iowa, Wisconsin, and Texas. On 4th November 2008, Barack Obama and Michelle cast the vote at Beulah Shoesmith Elementary School in Chicago. The election day seemed too long and nerve-racking for them. They desperately watched the election results as though the initial results were relatively confusing. It was around 10 pm the media announced the victory of Barack Hussein Obama. He was officially declared as the forty-fourth president of the United States. The victory was celebrated by more than 200,000 people who excitedly waited at the park to meet their victorious leader.

Expressing his deepest love for Michelle, Barack Obama said,

"We’ve been married now twenty years, and like every marriage you have your ups and you have your downs, but if you work through the tough times, the respect and love that you feel deepens." — Barack Obama

This section also relates to Michelle’s experience of successfully managing election campaigns held in February 2008 at Iowa, Wisconsin, and Texas. During campaign in 2014 at Topeka High School commencement speech, she said,

"Every day, you have the power to choose our better history — by opening your hearts and minds, by speaking up for what you know is right."  

On 4th November 2008, Barack Obama and Michelle cast the vote at Beulah Shoesmith Elementary School in Chicago. The election day seemed too long and nerve-racking for them. They desperately watched the election results as though the initial results were relatively confusing. It was around 10 pm the media announced the victory of Barack Hussein Obama. He was officially declared as the forty-fourth president of the United States. The victory was celebrated by more than 200,000 people who excitedly waited at the park to meet their victorious leader.

The last part of the book, Becoming More describes her experience at the white House, her political activities and community development works. Michelle was overwhelmed to play her part as the First Lady at the White House. Life at the White House was surprisingly different from the lifestyle they lived in Chicago. It was an exalted experience for the president and the First Lady to get a protocol at the White House. In her memoir, she explained the pros and cons of VIP treatment and how it hampered her private life. She aimed to live a normal and regular life like others such as, enjoying Thanksgiving holiday, family dinners and attending social events and recreational activities. She strongly opposed the publication of the photos of her family on social media since it disturbed her privacy. 

Some memorable foreign tours Michelle remembered that highly fascinated her. The first international trip was made to meet the Queen of England. Michelle was overwhelmed to meet the Queen and felt glorified for the privilege provided to them at Buckingham Palace. She also remembered her visit with Nelson Mandela Foundation headquarters in Johannesburg. It was a brief yet, memorable meeting. During the presidential phases of their life, Barack faced various challenging tasks .Michelle supported the Barack administration in meeting their tasks. The priority was to capture Osama bin Laden and to end up the economic crisis in the country. Speaking at G 20 Summit, she said, 

“Whether you come from a council estate or a country estate, your success will be determined by your own confidence and fortitude." 

She launched a health care awareness campaign for the parents and helped the schools to access healthy and high-quality food for children. Looking back to her fond memories in the year 2011, she remembered her passionate vision of empowering young girls. She initiated a mentoring program at the White House. Her speech during her visit to Africa in 2013 highlights her idea of girl’s empowerment . 

"When girls are educated, their countries become stronger and more prosperous." 

Another major political event was the reelection of Barack Obama. He was elected to a second presidential term on November 6th, 2012. The second term was more challenging and, he vowed to take necessary steps to stop violence and protect US citizens. Obama and Michelle initiated an educational campaign worldwide, known as Let Girls Learn. The campaign aimed at providing greater access to education to young girls and enabled them to choose a better career. Speaking at the Summit of the Mandela Washington Fellowship for Young African Leaders 2014, she said, 

"No country can ever truly flourish if it stifles the potential of its women and deprives itself of the contributions of half its citizens."

During his last tenure in the year 2015, Barack Obama showed a strong commitment to people. By the year 2016, Barack Obama and Michelle moved to their new house in Washington since Sasha had to complete her high school. While Malia was in her way to finish her graduation. Michelle beheld that they were the forty-fourth First Family who enjoyed blissful moments and had a splendid time at the White House. Her speech at Democratic National Convention 2012 depicts her love for her family. 

"My most important title is "mom-in-chief". My daughters are still the heart of my heart and the centre of my world."

At a Democratic National Convention in 2016, she said,"With every word we utter, with every action we take, we know our kids are watching us. We as parents, are their most important role models."

With tears, they left the White House but continued to serve the nation with devotion and fervor. They launched Let’s Move! Active Schools program to improve the health of school-going kids. Furthermore, various foundations and campaigns established by them are still providing social and educational support to underprivileged girls across the world.

During her final speech as a first lady, 

“You cannot take your freedoms for granted. Just like generations who have come before you, you have to do your part to preserve and protect those freedoms... you need to be preparing yourself to add your voice to our national conversation."

 Becoming inspires the readers as they found it  a warm, intimate coming-of-age story of a strong-minded girl who grew up to become one of the most powerful and influential black women in the country. It is filled with determination, love of family and many subtle and not-so-subtle lessons about being female, black, and black and female in America. She talks openly about things that many people are uncomfortable discussing. The book shows her concerns as worries that derive from the universal anxieties of marriage and motherhood. Still, Becoming is satisfying for the quiet moments in which Mrs. Obama, the woman who supported a black man named Barack all the way to the presidency, gets to let down her hair and breathe as Michelle LaVaughn Robinson, girl of the South Side. Thus, Michelle Obama gives us endearing, insightful, honest memories that taught us how to attain the journey to success. This book was eye-opening and inspiring, giving us a glimpse into how much effort it takes to lead a glorious successful life.

An extract from her book, 'Becoming' says,

“Your story is what you have, what you will always have. It is something to own.”  

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18 Minutes: Book Review

 

 

 18 Minutes: Find Your Focus, Master Distraction, and Get the Right Things Done

 

Book Review

“One way to keep the momentum going is to have constantly greater goals.”
– Michael Korda

As I began reading the book ‘18 Minutes’,  I pondered over my life; where did those years go?  Instead of focusing on my strengths and devoting time to the responsibilities that really mattered, I struggled with physical, mental, or emotional strain. The book, “18 Minutes: Find Your Focus, Master Distraction, and Get the Right Things Done” written by Peter Bregman helped readers to find solution to their struggle and frustration. Peter Bregman has worked with CEOs and senior leaders for over 30 years to develop their leadership skills and personal growth and collaborative team work to bring organizational change.

18 Minutes is an essential guide, providing comprehensive approach to how to manage a day, a moment and a year. Its goal is to teach us how to keep focus on to achieve meaningful work. If we look back and analyze our whole day, week or year, we simply say, Time Flies So Fast! How we can slow it down.

I quote the inspiring words of the author,

“Time is the only element in the world that is irretrievable when it’s lost. Lose money and you can make more. Lose a friend and you can patch up the relationship. Lose a job and you can find another. But lose time and it’s gone forever.”

The author’ words, “Somehow I was missing that feeling of I’m doing the right things with the right people in the right way to make the most of who I am”     stirred me to think since we are highly obsessed with achieving success, we hardly reflect upon satisfying our inner joy and happiness. We are engaged with personal obligations and probably spend less quality time with family and friends.

 

“How can we work less and survive? Stepping away from your work might just be the key to increasing your productivity.”  the author expresses.

Stepping away from work can boost our mood, reduce anxiety and spark productivity. Some suggested tips in the chapter are to get involved in multiple identities, enjoy dinner with family or play tennis with a friend are meaningful activities that helps to make a modest life style. Bregman evaluates how he’s spending his time as according to him, “Most important, be consistent—doing the something repeatedly over time solidifies your identity”.

The book 18 Minutes is divided into four parts. 

Part 1: Pause   helps us to focus on the right things, follow a daily plan and avoid inevitable distractions that cause hindrance in achieving our goals. Reading part one was stimulating for me. I learned how to enjoy life and happiness and unlock my hidden potentials. The chapter focuses on building momentum and consistency of adopting positive habits that helps to accomplish goals. Peter Bregman in his book suggested two ways to pull back momentum. If we start to lose its force, gently begin to change direction. Slow Down and Start Over. 

 Part 1 discusses how to control emotional response “If you take a breath and delay your action, you give the prefrontal cortex time to control the emotional response. A brief pause will help you to deviate from impulsive behavior to rational. 

Here I would like to quote the case study given in the chapter.

When Luigi yelled at me in the hall, I took a deep breath and gave my prefrontal cortex a little time to win. I knew there was a misunderstanding and I also knew my relationship with Luigi was important. So instead of yelling back, I walked over to him. It only took a few seconds. But that gave us both enough time to become reasonable.

Similarly, I learned another tactic of settling down any important matter. Take a pause and ask yourself a single question: What is the outcome I want? Instead of reacting to any event taken place in the past, react to the future outcome. If your aim is “An improved relationship,” don’t yell back. Respond to the person in a normal voice; ask some questions which diminish his anger. This is the reaction that will help to boost up better relationship. Positive attitude will help to embrace weakness, focus on strengths and follow your passion and succeed. 

 

Part 2: What Is This Year About?  states how to organize and prioritize things in our life.

I quote author’s words, “We’ll look at the four elements—your strengths, weaknesses, differences, and passions—that form the foundation of your success and happiness.”

 

I learned the significance of staying flexible while planning. Opportunity, persistence and luck helps you to move towards the right direction. After analyzing the plan for the day, we need to carry over for tomorrow’s plan. We should prioritize our tasks for the next day.  What’s no longer important need to be scratched out.

We model ourselves and our businesses after other people or businesses! The book highlights the fact that we need to develop self- analysis, analyze our thoughts and behavior. As author says, “If you look like other people, and if your business looks like other businesses, then all you’ve done is increase your pool of competition.  Self- Reflection and personal development help us to stay focused on our priorities.

Peter Bregman says, “One way to recover your passion is to pursue your desire. As you choose your focus for the year, pay less attention to “shoulds” and more attention to “wants.” Explicating this strategy, he said we need to reschedule our tasks by developing our passion to accomplish it. We need to ask ourselves  the following questions, “What about our daily work, does our daily life matter to us  Why are we doing it?

Three essential conditions should be followed:

·        You want to achieve it.

·        You believe you can achieve it.

·        You enjoy trying to achieve it.

I quote the inspiring words of the author,

“This is why you’d better enjoy trying to achieve your goals. Because you’ll never spend ten thousand hours doing anything you don’t enjoy. And if you don’t enjoy the trying part, you’ll never do it long enough to reach your goal.”

 “To home in on your passion, think about what you love doing—what’s important enough to you that you’re willing to persist over the year, even when it feels like you’re not succeeding.” writes the author.

At the end of part 2, the author emphasizes that demotivated people can be encouraged to pursue their goals if the goal is challenging and they are provided with the opportunity to achieve. The fear of failing may detain us from moving forward, however, if we comprehend the meaning of failure in our life, we will have great opportunities of success. 

I personally feel failure is a process of learning. As I ponder over my success in life, I know it has not occurred over night.  My efforts were recognized and valued in different challenging environment, hence my learning boost up.

“If you believe your talent grows with persistence and effort, then you seek failure as an opportunity to improve. People with a growth mind-set feel smart when they’re learning, not when they’re flawless.” 

“Failure is inevitable, useful, and educational. Just don’t give up—stay focused over the year—and it will pay off.”

Part 3: What Is This Day About, emphasizes how we focus into an 18-minute daily plan, make sure that the right things get done at the right moment. We need to prioritize and focus on five big things for the year ahead. Consequently, we need to create a to-do list for this purpose. The chapter begins with motivating words that really touched my heart, “If you pay attention to what’s happening now, the future will take care of itself. Don’t regret the past; don’t worry about the future; just be here now and all that.”

The author elucidates the idea by giving the example of driving a car. Distracted driving causes violent collusion. When you are driving, you never pay attention to where you are; you always pay attention to what is happening on the road ahead. As author says, “Plan your day ahead so you can fly through it, successfully maneuvering and moving towards your intended destination.” We should know where to focus and what to ignore .So the author suggests creating another list of unimportant things that can be ignored. 

As Bregman says, “To get the right things done, choosing what to ignore is as important as choosing where to focus.” The author further suggests three-day rule. This rule ensures that no task stays on your list for more than three days.

Part 3 ends with   thought-provoking words, 

“Spend a few minutes at the end of each day thinking about what you learned and with whom you should connect. These minutes are the key to making tomorrow even better than today.”

The last part 4: What Is This Moment About?  elucidates how to master distraction, you will learn how to get motivated and how to follow through even when it’s tempting to give up. How to protect yourself and your time by creating the right kind of boundaries. This section is divided into three subsections: Mastering Your Initiative, Mastering Your Boundaries, and Mastering Yourself.

The chapter emphasizes to   “Create an environment that naturally compels you to do the things you want to do.” We need to focus on real problems and opportunities. “What’s important is that your moment of choice is when you are in the right state of mind—when you need the least willpower—to make the best decision.”

Part 4 provide guidelines to help you stay on track.

•  Resist the temptation to say yes too often

• When you say no, mean it, and you won’t needlessly lose your time

• A few moments of transition time can help make your next task shorter, faster and more productive for you and others

• When you take vacation—or any other time you want to be undisturbed—schedule a specific time to take care of the things that would otherwise creep into each and every available moment

• Distraction, used intentionally, can be an asset

• Don’t try to get it right in one big step. Just get it going.  Smaller steps give you the opportunity to succeed more often

• Stay alert and adapt to changing situations

Finally, I learned to embrace change in life. Change is inevitable. Change is constant. We must analyze ‘self’, the self- knowledge help us to maximize our efforts for change. Change in our approach leads to for personal growth and success.

As I quote author’s words, “Welcome to life. The conditions are constantly shifting—almost as fast and frequently as the weather—and if you keep doing the same things in the rain that you did when it was nice and sunny, you’ll crash. You need to change your approach.”

   

As we master ourself with flexibility, we should stay on track and continue to move forward.

    

 I would end by quoting the words of Simone de Beauvoir,

“One's life has value so long as one attributes value to the life of others, by means of love, friendship, indignation and compass.

 

 

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